THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS TRUTHS, HALF TRUTHS, COMEDY, ERRORS OF, PUNS AND SOME BULLSHIT! WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF POLITICS.
Hi basically this post will start out with factual information, then a commentary; I let you know when it starts to get really thick. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell the made up parts but incase you are visiting from another country I didn’t want to leave anyone guessing or thinking I drink Yag with the PM on the weekends 
It would never happen since I’m… well…
I hear my buddies sayin’, “Crazy, what gives?
Tonight she’s living like the other half lives!”
To think the highest brow
Which I must say is he
Should pick the lowest brow
Which there’s no doubt is me
What a step up, holy cow!
They’d never believe it
If my friends could see me now!
New Democrat debacle and who really gave Harper the recording!
“Ralph Goodale unearths super-secret Tory plot to shatter the economy”
Story by Kelly McParland – National Post
“Mr. Goodale’s contention is two-fold, and neither fold holds much water.
The first fold is that the Conservative government has ruined the economy. This assertion appears to be based largely on the fact the annual surpluses racked up by the Liberals in the latter days of their reign have all but disappeared. Paul Martin delighted in announcing Ottawa had amassed $10 billion or $12 billion more than it needed, and was considering, through sheer kind-heartedness, returning a portion of it to the people it was taken from. National daycare; the Kelowna accord; billions more for healthcare; tax cuts for everyone-”
http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/posted/archive/2008/05/21/ralph-goodale-unearths-super-secret-tory-plot-to-shatter-the-economy.aspx
So Mr. Ralph Goodale is playing my game… being utterly confusing and not able to put forward anything that could be considered a-musing…
Today Liberal House leader, Ralph Goodale said the liberals plan to push ahead with the proposed coalition. Ralph Goodale also commented that Progressive Conservatives newly re-elected Prime Minister Stephen Harper, had a very “American republican view of the Canadian constitution”; his tone would imply that was a very-very bad thing! In the next breathe Goodale, tries to compare Harper with newly elected US President Barack Obama, by saying “Barack Obama was elected two weeks ago and he already has a plan.” So are we allowing comparisons of our politics with the Americans or not? If not don’t compare Harper to Barack Obama who is being touted as the hardest working President in the USA’s history. After all the comparison your speaking against from your opponent is when people who support the Tories claim that what the Liberals are doing is unconstitutional … actually it was said it was undemocratic, the voters voted and you are taking the win away by flexing your muscles in some back room gladiator like game.
Question for Goodale, what was your plan in 1986 when you slammed the NDP and Tories for having a Keynesian style approach to the economy and that the only way to go about things was to have a more fiscally responsible platform? So then you’re saying you learned a few things from the PC government on spending since then? Wait, spending on the country at large not contracts for friends and lovers. Is it the best speaker wins, and now what? If you can create more commotion then settling in and actually working, Prime Minister Harper won’t be able to do what he needs to do to prepare or show his plan to the people of Canada?
hahaha… So stimulating the economy is now all of a sudden a great idea and he doesn’t think Harper knows this??? Hmm, I guess all’s fair in politics and cage fighting.
And in light of all the kafuffle and calling in the ghosts of the past political blunders for both the NDP and the Liberals such as, Former Liberal PM Jean Chretien to help the inept (as deemed by his party), Stephane Dion out of his leadership position to apease the Bloc Quebecious and Liberal party members, It is Dion who will lead this coalition, after all he was the one involved in the talks from the begining. It must be an interesting time in Ottawa when reports are saying that the Liberal party members plan to not show up for a confidence vote if Dion is the one leading this coup, now it’s about just taking over and some how even the Bloc leader, Gilles Gueceppe has decided he won’t hold out with his blessing in order this take over goes smoothly! Wow, what ever it takes, I just want to know what the hell they are afraid of? Do tell, we have a right to know!
Feeling like they are suckering poor Dion maybe later in history the story will be told how they kept Dion in as his last great hurah in politics only to get rid of him from not only his leadership position but from the party all together… we see him moving to France and leading some big corporation and hopefully he has a big enough chip on his shoulder that he won’t want to have any part in helping the Canadian Liberals stimulate anything, we hear him say.. “go stimulate yourselves and separate this [as he holds up his pointer and middle fingers together] he adds in his “evy accent” and take the middle one to Quebec when you cross their border you traitors!”
So yeah, Now since my artistic part of my brain has been stimulated … I would like to tell you about this little fantasy I had and what I know about the Harper Plan.
[Dream like music]…
I was in Ottawa with the PM, his wife, several other VP’s .. this is how it went down…
[Fade music down]
Conservative AG. Minister, Gerry Ritz was in town and looking for a date, he called me to fill in because his woman wasn’t feeling so well from the sandwich she ate earlier… anyway, I accept Gerry’s offer and we fly out straight away! After finding the perfect dress, you know one that I knew Mrs. Harper would never ever wear, you know the kind in hopes ole’ Maxime would be there.
We get to the party and I was most excited about what it was I had in my purse, it was a gift for Mr. Harper, something I was hoping he would find interesting if not helpful. Nothing classified or that we could get in trouble for having or sharing… Nothing illegal.
There no wiretap crime under the Criminal Code of Canada if someone is invited to participate in a conference call and then releases the recording publicly.
A spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper said an unnamed Conservative had been “invited” to participate on the call.
“Maybe the invitation was meant for the Bloc, and they accidentally invited us,” said Dimitri Soudas.
“We were invited. When you get invited somewhere you have the opportunity to choose to participate or not participate.”
The song Jeepers Creepers by Louis Armstrong is filling the room, the mood is slightly sombre.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=tKQp38-0Vpg
So, I have a few drinks with Ritzy and start to head over to the bar looking for a YAG bomb… I mean come on, they must have them here because we know the government never sleeps and they seem to be jacked up on something.
Then it happens, I bump my shoulder right into Mr. Harpers body guards belly… big friggin guard anyway I peek around Goliath and there he is sipping on warm milk wearing a lovely cardigan sweater vest! I shriek “Ooooohhhhh Mr. President Sir!” He turns to me and smiles meekly; “dear little woman, In Canada we follow a parliamentary government with strong democratic traditions; like the British, we call our leaders Prime Ministers.”
“Wow Mr. Primed Mister, I love tradition! I am Canadian and I know it’s hard to tell when I’m in this beautiful Vera Wang dress but I was born and raised in the centre of Canada just like you, well centre left if you’re looking from up north and your more right of me… anyway I also know that if these bastards in Ottawa have their way you aren’t going to be called anything but “chump” come New Years back home on the range! So suck it up and let’s get our shit together! I have this recording here I want you to listen to.” Mr. Harper then looked frantically around the room for help, he squeaked out the name “Muffin” but no one seemed to answer his call. Harper then decided he would listen to my Sony ipod; after listening to the recording he waved a few people over, then asked what it was I wanted. I simply said well, I want you to listen to my ideas for change in our prairie provinces and then the rest of Canada. I want Prison reform. I want better developed social programs that meet the needs of the people of today not the free lovin’ hippies of the 60’s.”
“That sounds pretty far out there in left field my little social butterfly”… Harper quipped with a chuckle as he looked at his partners. He continued by saying “It would be great to be able to help you but most of what you are talking about is more a provincial issues not things the federal government can help with.”
“Actually Mr. Presi… I mean Prime Minister Harper; you could audit the federal funded programs and money given to the provinces to ensure they were implementing proper programs. Or you could just demand the local governments allow for think tanks and other information gathering… I don’t know but something has to be done.”
Harper reaches out and pats my head… “Well lady, this has been very amusing but I think I have to go and well as for your concerns the best I can do is give you Michaelle Jeans home phone number… stuff like this is her gig not mine.” As Harper began to stand up he looked at his watch then asked “Now I have to deal with other
more pressing issues, is there something else I could give you in return for this interesting audio file you have here?”
In my frustration, as I had already known I’d freeze up and not be able to make this trip with Ritzy pay off I did think of some of the things I had always wanted to know… “Well, I want to know something and I want an answer and an explanation.”
“Sure, shoot”
“Well, do you have a plan? If you have a plan what is it…? I.. I mean you don’t have to tell me everything but some of the things I’d like to know for the sake of feeling that I have been putting my energy behind the right guy… and not just another pretty face.”
Harper sits back down and looks at me… Looking very concerned he says “Of course we have a plan. We’ve been in talks with the Saudis.” “Why just this morning we finished talking with Saudi Oil Minister Ali Al- Naimi and agreed we needed to see a “fair” crude price of 75$ a barrel so we can maintain some stability in world oil prices, I mean it wouldn’t make sense to have a “Going out of business sale” when we are trying to stay in business. This is one thing we are working on.” “Also we intend to help the factories in the east along with the machine and car manufacturing, forestry; we need the eastern Premiers to come up with Idea’s and initiatives to bring corporate investors to their provinces as we see a decline in the fishing industries. Hopefully once crude is back at a price we can all live with we’ll start the oil sands projects back up and bring those investors back. This money from taxes will be used to pump back into the economy helping to keep interest low for a while, we will help where we can to comfort the investors, and as you mentioned in other blogs, we also agree May of the green party had some good idea’s, the strong dollar can be strong but in the position that will be enticing for other countries to want to invest.” “Now, what did you say your name was again?”
“Uh… well… Just call me Ms. Throat!”
“Okay Ms. Throat, we have lots of plans and Idea’s but we need to work out some things with other leaders like I was speaking of earlier.” “We simply can’t just offer the Canadian public a plan then have the people we “Hope” will support us just support us.” “We surely don’t want to give all our idea’s to our opposition so that they can form their coalition kick us out then take up what we’ve been working on.” “We do need time… time to think things over.”
At this point, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, I don’t know if it was the Yag bombs and crab cakes, or that I just cannot comprehend all this political stuff. I handed over the recording and said “Give em hell boys!” I was feeling that I and the rest of Canada were in good hands for a little while at least.
I wanted to get my party on! A few more drinks and I could see the crowd loosening up as they all took turns listening to the ipod… not sure if they were jammin’ to Nelly Furtado, Common or Akon or actually listening to Jack Layton spell out for us all that it didn’t matter what Harper did the coalition was in the making for some time. After all, he knows he’s never going to have a chance to wear the big boots on his own.
I walked over to the DJ and started to chat about the music he had available … Stephen Harper walked up said in a very matter of fact way “Ms. Throat, I did enjoy our little chat and I will do everything in my power for as long as that may be to help you find the direction you need, and to help the people of Canada reap the benefits of this great country. He then presented me with another Yag Bomb and he had his… we crossed arms and dropped our jagermeisters’ into each other bull filled glasses… this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=rQafZMcOcgU
As a trendier version of my opening song played the crowed gathered around us… we all danced and bumped a little Mr & Mrs H embraced… Ritzy danced around the couple… As the Alpha males found their Alpha females … the rest of us paired up for one last dance of the evening, knowing that whatever happens … the truth will eventually come out. What ever the hell that may be.
Okay, I’m done… I’m signing off this political commentary from my planet and going to enjoy some other forms of entertaining myself.
Hope you all sleep well. Have a wonderful week
This song is dedicated to Chrétien and Harper.
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=vvQLZ0vB-T8
Oh Gandhi is rolling over in his grave and getting tangled in his uparne at this silly notion but I’m sure if it’s for the sake of peace… even Gandhi would give this b.s a chance. Would he give it a chance if it were for the sake of keeping the fat cats fat? 